The ‘Ol Ball & Chain

The first month or so that we were engaged, it seemed like all I heard about/read about was bad marriages, how lazy and terrible men are and how they will aggravate the heck out of you for the rest of your life.  Kind of like getting married is like being condemned to a life of “marital solitude.”

It may just be my immaturity, but every time I hear someone talk about how hard marriage is, I want to tell them that single life is hard too.  I want to tell them that there are many days in my life where having someone to go home to who is invested in my day-to-day life and is involved in helping me get through the simple and hard things I face each day would just be a huge blessing to me.  It would also be nice to have someone to pour into in the same reciprocal way.

Don’t get me wrong – as tough as it is to be single sometimes, I’m sure it is just as tough to be married.  I realize that I could totally “eat my thoughts” on all of this.  I’m sure it IS hard…hard to get used to living with a guy when I’ve always lived with girls, hard to “give up” some of your single freedoms, hard to get used to coming home and cooking and thinking about someone else in all of your small decisions like “Should I buy this shirt?” but I don’t think I’m ignorant to all those things, and also not set in my ways completely.  But trust me, there will be a Part II to this blog, sometime after September 25.  🙂

My fellow bride-to-be and BFF Melinda sent me this refreshing article yesterday and it really made my day.  Mel and I went to college together and spent a lovely year after college as roommates and have been inseperable ever since I first marathon conversation in college!  She will be getting married this October, so we are going through this together.  I will probably refer to her a lot, so I thought a proper introduction was appropriate!

Melinda also sent the writer a little “thank you note” and I thought I would share the email exchange they had:

Hi Diane,

I wanted to thank you for your column in yesterday’s N&O. As a young woman about to get married, I’ve been trying to block out all the naysayers who complain about how frustrating marriage can be, and the “modern woman mantra” that implies you’re being weak if you even show a trace of needing your man.

Your story was incredibly refreshing and touching.

My fiance and I were good friends for seven years before we began dating, and I’m continually blown away by the reality that I get to join my life with someone who’s such a perfect match for me that I don’t even get it, sometimes. I think I’ve even had a bit of a subconscious fear that “it can only go down from here,” so thanks for helping me believe that it actually can get even better — I’m surprised to find how much that meant to me.

Best regards,

Thanks so much for the kind comments, Melinda. I know what you mean about the naysayers. Everyone talks about how marriage is so much work, but a good marriage doesn’t have to be. In reality, it’s been the easiest part of my life for the past ten years.

Having a great partner in life makes all the difference.

Best of luck to you and your fiance.


Looks like the ‘ol ball & chain might not be so bad after all.  🙂


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